Every time I poll my friends or social media followers about what topics they want me to touch on, fitness always comes up. I've worked out for years but don't consider myself a picture of fitness, so it was perplexing. However, I realized that I found it perplexing because of how I saw myself and my fitness journey. A change in my perspective inspired me.
The media has always plastered images of super fit or thin people everywhere, often making us feel like we have to look that way to be acceptable. And I guess buying into that made me feel like no one would want to hear about fitness from a halfway-fit woman like myself. I'm not ripped all over with rock-hard abs, but I am strong and can lift heavier than many men. I've battled my weight on and off. I have been bigger and smaller than my current weight, so I know what it's like on both sides of the spectrum. Working out was always a part of my life at each of those sizes. I now recognize that I've had a unique fitness journey, and it's just as worthy of sharing as anyone else's.
If you are an avid social media user, you have seen the overabundance of fitness influencers who are all super-fit women with perfect bodies. Some of these women are even surgically enhanced, which means their bodies aren't solely a product of the gym. They put up heavily edited photos to show off their bodies. They bombard us with videos at the gym that consist of more shots of their booty jiggling as they walk over to the equipment than they do of them actually working out. They post before and after photos with inspirational quotes about how anyone can do it because they did. And you're sitting at home wishing you could just have the before body they posted and feeling like you don't even belong in a gym. It can be discouraging because you feel like you'll never achieve that level of "perfection ." The reality is most of us probably won't, but that's okay. We aren't all meant to look the same. The goal should always be to become the best version of YOU, not someone else.
I am a black woman who doesn't have the ideal hourglass or pear shape coveted in my community. I have big boobs, no hips, a muscle butt (Shout out to Martin, lol!), and extremely muscular legs. I've had my share of moments of wishing I had a different body. I feel that's normal, but I know my ass isn't going under the knife for vanity. No shade or disrespect to anyone that chooses that route, but that doesn't work for me. I've taken time to research, find ways to enhance what I have, and even add a little extra in some places. It has taken time and a lot of heavy lifting. And to be clear, I work out, but I will also destroy a 10-piece fried hard with curly fries. So my body is nowhere near perfect, but it is strong and does its job. And for that, I am thankful.
I can't tell you about my fitness journey without talking about my daddy. He is why my mom worked out, and my sister and I started. He was an athlete growing up. He played basketball and baseball most of the time he was in school and then in college. I grew up seeing him lift weights and run in the hot sun in our neighborhood. There was always workout equipment in the house, and I always played around with it. Still, I didn't start taking it seriously until I was a teenager. I feel like I inherited my dad's athleticism, so I never struggled too much doing athletic activities. Even at the highest weight I've ever been, I could run a 5k pretty effortlessly. So, shout out to my daddy for the foundation. (Side note but this is a reminder that your babies are watching you, so set a good example.)
I often get a lot of questions about what I do for my legs. And unlike most influencers or trainers, I won't lie to you. I have genetics on my side. I am naturally muscular, and even when I don't work out, I still have some cuts. Heavy lifting gives me more mass and definition, but my starting place differs from most. And it goes back to my earlier point; your course of action will be unique to you. I started as a runner. I just ran and ran until I looked up one day and realized I had lost a good bit of weight. Eventually, my knees didn't quite love my constant running, so I had to give it up for the most part. When I get the urge to run, I sometimes sprint, because that's all my knees can take. I then moved to lower-impact things, like the arc trainer and walking on an incline.
In my mid to late 20s, I started lifting weights. I started with machines at the gym, and a lot of it was trial and error. Squatting became big for me because I was determined to add mass to my lower half to balance out my top half. Adding loads of heavy weight became an addiction because I'm super competitive. Before I took a hiatus from all of that, I was squatting 340lbs. I had maxed out most of the other leg machines. One of my favorite pastimes was watching men try to squat heavier or run faster than me in the gym. For the record, I won 90% of the time and was pretty well-known in the gym for that.
Lockdown closed down gyms for a while, and I couldn't do all that heavy lifting. I was pretty convinced that not being able to do that was going to have me looking crazy. I couldn't let that happen, so I started experimenting in my dad's home gym. I created a routine that I feel has me in even better shape than before. I walk on an incline for 20-25 minutes between 3 to 5 days a week. I focus more on training specific muscle groups rather than just adding bulk from heavy weights and a carb-heavy diet. I went from maxing out every machine I used at the gym to spending time doing more upper body work. I do bicep curls, hammer curls, shoulder presses, chest presses, and more with my dad's cast iron prison yard weights. I have more upper body definition than I've had in ages. I now use cable kickbacks to tone my glutes with various squats that use dumbbells, kettlebells, and resistance bands. I have striations and cuts that I've never had before. And most of all, I feel good and strong, which is most important.
Starting a workout regimen can be intimidating, but you must give yourself grace. Nobody knows everything when starting, and even though I've been working out for many years, I still don't know everything. My routine will probably change again at some point. And don't let gym rats discourage you from going to the gym. Everyone had to start somewhere, and they were once out of shape and new to the gym themselves. You will figure it out and learn along the way. Don't let any of that stop you from starting.
I remember starting diet and workout plans because I wanted abs like Britney Spears, to look like other girls around me, or to fit in an outfit I wanted. The momentum never lasted long enough for me to achieve much, and I didn't understand why I couldn't stay the course. It was simply because I didn't have a "why" that was centered around me. An essential step in the process is determining your "why." I was always trying to work out to look like someone else or to impress someone else, but it wasn't about me. When I made it about me, I started to see success. My "why" has several parts:
I have a hormonal imbalance that I learned behaves when I work out and eat fairly well.
I enjoy the way I feel after I work out.
It helps me to be more disciplined.
I am naturally muscular, and lifting weights is a challenge that keeps me motivated.
Lifting has also changed my body shape, and I like myself better this way.
My mother was a diabetic, so I must take care of myself.
I like being strong. It helps me walk in heels longer, lift heavy things, prevent falls and unnecessary injuries, etc.
Once I centered my fitness journey around me only, I saw much more progress and consistency. I don't just work out for superficial reasons anymore. I will not lie to you and tell you it is easy. It isn't. There are days that I want to stay in bed and not work out. And I do that from time to time. I also go through periods where I don't work out. I give myself grace in those moments because you can get burned out. You have to make sure you get up and start again. It's okay to pause, but don't give up on yourself or your journey to a better you. And remember that comparing your journey to someone else's is counterproductive. This life change is all about you and for you.
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