Have you ever felt drained?
Maybe you didn’t even know why you felt that way. You just found yourself feeling depleted and struggling to keep up with the grind. Obviously, the American way of living is draining, in general. We work constantly, and some people are still unable to make ends meet. That would suck the life out of anyone. However, that drained feeling is often the result of you not putting the energy you do have to good use.
After suffering a heavy loss earlier this year and walking away from a job, I felt drained. I felt listless and unmotivated. I realize some of my issues were directly related to my grief, but I also discovered that my focus was off. After talking to my counselor and spending some time in sister circle meetings with my closest friends, I realized how much time and energy I was putting into things and people that were giving me very little if anything at all. It is essential to identify the energy vampires in your world.
I discovered that I had connections in my life that weren’t giving as much as I was. I recognize that we are all adults, and the days of spending every night on the phone have long been over. However, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect a call here and there, or at the very least, when I do call, you answer. And if you can go several days or weeks without a real conversation with me, I know what’s up. Also, I believe when you care for someone, making a sacrifice for them shouldn’t be something you try to avoid. If I’ve gone the extra mile for you and going 3 feet for me is too much, it’s time to dial it back. And I want to be clear that I’m not advocating for “tit for tat” games. I am simply acknowledging that imbalances in relationships will always cause the giver to feel drained over time. It is essential to your mental health to level those imbalances if possible or walk away when it’s not possible.
Another place that was draining me was my thoughts. I struggle with perfectionism which often results in procrastination and inactivity. Once I understood that my perfectionism was a symptom of the low level of confidence that I had in myself in certain areas, a light bulb came on. It may sound cliché, but everything you do starts in your mind and heart. If you don’t believe it, it’s improbable that you’ll see it through. We all have intrusive, negative thoughts from time to time, but the trick is not letting them manifest. Acknowledge them and let them go. I can find myself ruminating on thoughts like that, which can, in turn, drain the hell out of me. I try very hard to redirect my thoughts and energy toward positivity. I don’t have a 100% success rate here, but I can tell you that my battery definitely has more charge now.
Here are a few other things to keep in mind while trying to preserve your energy:
Make Yourself a Priority: This cannot be said enough. You must be your first priority the majority of the time. You must learn to prioritize your needs so that your cup stays full. When you give too much and never replenish yourself, you don’t even have anything left for you or the people that deserve your selflessness. If you are going to be a big giver, make sure you’re one of the receivers.
Choose Your Company Wisely: Some people don’t deserve to be in your atmosphere. And you need to identify these people and remove them. Takers rarely see the error of their ways and aren’t going to stop you from emptying your cup for them. It’s up to you to control your environment.
Be Grateful: Sometimes I feel down and out but reminding myself to be grateful lifts my mood. Even amid darkness, there’s always something to be thankful for in my life. I remind myself to be thankful for small things like the air flowing through my lungs, the blood pumping in my heart, the roof over my head, the ability to move, my family, and so much more.
Stay in the Moment: As someone that battles with anxiety, this can be tough. However, wisdom tells me that trying to live in the future or the past is draining. You can’t change the past, and you can’t control the future; all you can do is deal with the present. Spending too much time dwelling on what was or what could be is simply a waste of energy. Enjoy the moment!
Set Goals: Setting goals for yourself is a great way to redirect your energy. I truly believe an idle mind is the devil’s playground. When you have goals you are actively chasing, you don’t have as much energy and time for things that don’t serve you. Accomplishing goals is also a great way to boost your self-confidence.
Be Gentle with Yourself: Being kind to yourself is one of the most important parts. We all know that Earth is ghetto, and there are so many things that drain us. You don’t want to be one of the things that drain you. Be kind to yourself.
This blog is just a reminder that you always have the power to change your life. If you’re feeling a little run down mentally and emotionally, take some time to see where you expend most of your energy. You might be surprised at what a few shifts and changes will do for you.
It's very important to protect our energy and gather the courage to do this kind of life assessment. Sometimes we're leaking energy in ways we don't even notice. Thank you for sharing these great tips and insights 💜 Much love, Vanessa (thewellbeingblogger.com)
All great solid tips, especially numbers 1 and 2! Ever since learning to prioritize myself (and not feel guilty about it), I feel energized, inspired, and motivated. I felt I was giving a lot but didn't recognize that I was not doing much for myself. Recently, I had to take a break from one of my best friends because she was giving out very bad toxic energy and spent whole week trash talking about someone. I thought I was being a good friend by listening to her vent but in return, it caused me to be mentally and emotionally drained.
Claire | Eleventh Avenue