Showing Up For Yourself

I've learned over the years how important it is to show up for yourself. We spend so much time focusing on what other people do or don't do for us, but what are you doing for yourself?

Setting Boundaries

In relationships, we tend to focus on what we need to do to make the other person happy. And don't get me wrong, that is important, but what is more important is how you take care of yourself in the relationship. Setting boundaries is how you show up for yourself in relationships. I think we have probably all struggled with this before. You worry that your boundary will scare the other party off when you should be happy that it does. Your boundaries are for self-care, and anyone who cares about you would respect that. While the other party may care about you, no one will be there for you the way you should be. You know what you need to be happy and comfortable in a friendship, romantic relationship, work relationship, or any other relationship. So, it is purely up to you to create the parameters for your relationships. And it is also your responsibility to walk away when those lines are crossed. A habitual line stepper rarely changes.

Mental Health

Another way we must show up for ourselves is by taking care of our mental health. Dragging trauma and baggage from childhood through adulthood is a way to destroy good things in your life. You must tap into yourself and begin to heal. I am a huge advocate for counseling because it has changed my life. I have always been relatively introspective, but counseling has helped me dig even deeper and start resolving my issues. It forces me to face the ways that I stand in my own way or the ways that I allow my childhood issues to permeate my "now." I've also learned to spot specific issues in people around me, which taught me to give grace to people that aren't as far in their healing as I am. Healing is never easy. It is also not linear. You have moments where you sink back into the comfort of your own dysfunction. Still, it's your responsibility to pull yourself out and keep pushing. A healthy mind makes everything else in your life flow better.

Physical Health

It really is essential to exercise and eat well. I am what you might call a sporadic gym rat. I go through periods of being super dedicated to the gym and sometimes where I am not. I can never stay away for too long, though. I feel so much better when my body is strong, and I'm at least trying to eat well. I recognize not everyone wants to squat 340lbs like me, but I encourage you to do something, even if it's just a 30-minute walk a few times a week. Our bodies are made to move. It helps you sleep better, have better focus, and feel a sense of accomplishment that is incredible for your mental health.

Setting Goals & Meeting Them

Pursuing your goals is a big part of showing up for yourself. When it comes to chasing your dreams, you are the only one that can do that for you. It is up to you to be disciplined enough to stay the course and crush your goals. Being able to accomplish things that are important to us is essential for our self-esteem. As someone who admittedly struggles with perfectionism, this can be a difficult task. There have been times in my life where I started and stopped multiple projects because it seemed to be too difficult. Or I didn't feel like I would be able to perfectly complete it. I've had to realize that sometimes it's better to just complete a task than to worry about if it's perfect. We often believe that motivation is what pushes us to do everything. It is actually the action that starts the engine. Once you put the train on the tracks, the rest of it will usually follow.

Being Authentic

If you know me and have read previous blogs, you know I talk about this ALL the time. It is so important to tap into who you truly are. I spent a lot of my life doing quite the opposite. I didn't even realize how much it hindered me. It is so easy to find yourself people-pleasing and shapeshifting to fit into someone else's mold. Let's be honest first; we all want validation and to be liked somehow. It is a normal desire. However, it is never beneficial to mute large parts of who you are to achieve that. The goal is to be exactly who you are and embrace the people that vibe with you. Living as authentically as possible is the best way to cultivate a life of which you will be proud.

In what ways do you show up for yourself?