In tough times...look for the lessons!

In the midst of the Covid fiasco, I lost my job.

I never really talked about it except with close friends and family. In 2018, the company I worked for went through a buyout. And I was supposed to be laid off at the end of that year. They discovered that they needed my help during the transition, so I stayed while weighing my options. I was given time to look for jobs and was also promised an excellent severance package, so it didn’t seem so bad. I ended up working there for literally two more years with this layoff looming over my head. I figured I would ride it out and move out of state like I had planned. Obviously, God had other plans!

At the end of 2019, like most people, I was planning all of these wonderful things for 2020. I was going to take my layoff in stride and finally be able to take some time off. I was looking forward to traveling more and doing some things that I hadn’t had time for while working every day. I was taking on freelance projects that were providing me learning experience in another field and extra income. Ya girl had it all planned out! Then came Covid, and everything changed. I was sent home with a laptop in March 2020 to work from home. I was sure we would be back to work in like a month. I think I was a little spoiled by the way Obama handled H1N1. Little did I know the next and last time I would walk into that building would be to turn in my laptop after my layoff.

When I got that phone call that my job would finally end in a month, I had mixed feelings. I was relieved in a way because I actually didn’t like the job, but I was also scared. We were in the middle of a pandemic, and I knew it wasn’t going to be easy to find another job. Still, I enjoyed the free time initially. I had not had time off like that since I was 20 years old. I continued my freelance projects, got a certification, took a few short trips, but the dark side of this started to set in. This pandemic wasn’t ending any time soon, and while I was sustaining just fine, I knew I couldn’t go on like this forever. I had chosen to switch career fields, and it was proving harder than I thought to find the right job. And that was when the depression started to set in.

Many people trash unemployed people and say they are lazy and just don’t want to work, but I can assure you that it’s probably not the case for most people. Nobody really talks about the emotional side of this. I don’t think we all realize how much of ourselves we tie to what we do. Losing my job almost felt like I lost a part of myself. The company I worked for is very well known in my city as they own one of the biggest news stations there. People seemed impressed when they found out that I worked there. I worried what I would say now when someone asked, “What do you do?” or “Where do you work?”. I felt shame for not having a 9-5 anymore. I was embarrassed, even though I had not done anything to cause my unemployment, and was even still freelancing at the time. It showed I needed to learn that my value was not tied to that job or any job. We are whole, worthy beings regardless of our job status.

My job search was rough. I started applying and began to receive rejection after rejection. This had never happened to me, and it definitely hadn’t happened while unemployed. Every rejection stung a little more. I realized that I was new to this field and had limited experience, but geez! There was a point where I just sat in the middle of my bed and cried. I’m talking about bawling, sobbing, shoulder-shaking type crying. I was depleted and tired of those robotic rejection letters from companies that probably didn’t even look at my resume. Everyone is using automated software now that looks for specific keywords, and if your resume doesn’t have them, you’re out. Around this time, I decided to get my resume, cover letter, and Linkedin page written by a professional. It cost a bit of money, but I immediately saw some improvement. I got past the software and was now scoring some interviews.

The interview stage was a whole other ordeal. The first couple of interviews I had went pretty nicely, I thought, but I didn’t get those jobs. I even ran into jobs where I went through 2 or 3 steps then got rejected. I ran into rude, unprofessional interviewers that made the situation much harder. Shout out to the snooty woman that surprised me with a video interview when it was supposed to be on the phone. I truly believe she was looking to catch me slipping. And shout out to the young man that laughed and giggled throughout the interview. At the same time, his counterpart sat there looking like an Instagram model with nothing to say. Or the interviews that were scheduled but never happened. It had been so long since I had been in the job market, and I was appalled. This was definitely not what I had experienced in the past.

I really did not want to go back to being chained to a desk every day in a business office. My goal was to switch to copywriting and digital marketing and my friends weren’t letting me give up on it. A friend of mine offered me another freelance gig with her business to help me build my portfolio. I figured that was the only way I’d get anyone to take me seriously. I was just about to create an LLC to streamline my freelance gigs. And I was also back looking at jobs in my old field and considering going back to school. I had concluded that maybe freelance was it for me right now, and I had to get another regular 9 to 5 in the meantime. I wasn’t entirely happy with this idea, but you do what you have to do to get where you’re trying to go.

And then came the job offer that changed everything. This was the first interview where I didn’t feel like I was in an interrogation room on the First 48. I was calm, and I really enjoyed the conversation with the interviewer. I felt like she really took a look at my writing skills and didn’t judge me on my lack of professional experience. I was so jaded by the rejection letters I had received that I wouldn’t allow myself to get excited about this experience. When I knew I had gotten the job, I had one of them good ol’ church lady praise sessions in my bedroom. I cried tears of joy because it felt like I had been in a black hole for so long. I cannot explain how thankful I am for this opportunity. It is exactly what I wanted and more. (I mean unlimited vacation?? Hello!)

I was so close to giving up and just going back to what was comfortable and easiest for me, even though I knew I would be miserable. I write this to encourage you not to give up either. You never know what is on the other side of your struggles. It is also important to not be ashamed of these low moments. I told myself I was keeping my unemployment to myself because I was “solutions-based,” but I was really just embarrassed. I didn’t want to tell anyone until I had gotten a new job, so I didn’t have to think about how being unemployed made me look. Crazy, right? And honestly, when I started opening up about it, more doors opened because people now knew I was in need. It is okay to be vulnerable and ask for help. You never know who is willing to lend a helping hand to you.

And lastly, during this period, I learned so much about myself. I now know how resilient, resourceful, creative, talented, and worthy I am. I’ve learned not to question God’s plans so much. He hasn’t failed me yet. I also learned that I need to stop trying to control everything. What’s for Whitney will always be for Whitney, so I have no reason to panic. ( I still be trippin’ a lil bit, though!) And I know that had I not gotten laid off, I probably would have stayed complacent, so it was necessary. I was forced out of my comfort zone, and I am grateful that it happened. I feel more capable and self-assured. So even if a situation doesn’t play out the way I want it, I know I can handle it and so can you. When you face a challenging situation, look for the lessons…they are invaluable!