Growth is painful, but the fruit is sweet

I’ve always imagined myself with a blog while simultaneously wondering what exactly I would talk about or who would even care about what I had to say. As I write at this moment, I still don’t have the answers to both of those questions. What I do know is that being honest and true to yourself attracts like-minded individuals, and that’s exactly what I want to do. I have dedicated the last four years of my life to becoming the most authentic version of myself, and that is who I want to share with the world.

My journey to self hasn’t been easy, and truth be told, I haven’t even fully arrived at my destination yet. I truly believe that something happens around the age of 30 where we run out of f*cks to give, and we just want peace. I realized that having internal peace meant that I couldn’t be at war with myself, and I couldn’t be battling everyone else’s thoughts and opinions along with that. When you are not in touch with yourself, society and those around you will subtly mold you into the person that suits them best. It happened to me, and maybe it has happened to some of you too.

The need for authenticity is crucial. Every time you make decisions based on what others desire for you, you betray yourself. And after doing that for so long, you almost don’t even really trust yourself to make decisions without input. There is no way to be happy and peaceful living that way. We find true contentment when what we think, do, and say are all in alignment. To achieve that, you have to get vulnerable, dig deep and figure out what is truly best for you.

When you start to get closer to your authentic self, everyone isn’t going to be happy. You will realize that people around you were only content as long as you were the person they needed you to be. You will find that things you once thought suited you no longer do. You may even discover some things that you didn’t even realize you desired or needed. At times, we will give others what we genuinely need the most. You know all that love, affection, time, and attention you’re probably pouring into other people? Yeah, you probably need some of that from you too.

And I know you’re probably wondering what the hell is a sporadically ratchet southern belle, and why would she call herself that, right? To me, it represents a dichotomy. It is a melding of the different parts of me. Growing up in the South with a somewhat conservative mother, you are taught certain ways of being. You don’t say that, or you don’t wear this, or ladies don’t do that. And to be honest, I’ve been challenging these ideals my whole life, much to my mother’s dismay. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about being classy wit it, but there’s another side to the South too. And if you from the Dirty South, you know how we do! (Real girls get down on the flo’!) So, just as much as I like pretty dresses, pencil skirts, blazers, men in suits, fancy cars, church on Sunday, I also like micro-minis, 6-inch heels, spikes, chains, Jordans, trap music, and a nice grill. My acceptance of my duality made life a bit easier. Is my mother always on board with my choices? Definitely not! She just stopped cringing about my nose ring and the three tattoos she knows about, but my own happiness is more important to me than her minor discomfort. Being true to Whitney is what is most important.

I strive every day to allow myself to exist in my rawest form without considering how that makes anyone else feel. And sometimes, that involves me stopping myself from doing something because I know that I may be looking for validation. Or sometimes, it is pushing myself to do something that I may be afraid to do because I worry about how people may receive it. The struggle of that in a world where you’re constantly being told you aren’t enough is HUGE. However, I feel like we owe that to ourselves. It is your responsibility to push and challenge yourself to be better. We may meet people along the journey that aid us with this, but ultimately the job is yours. Your life is your own to live however you see fit, as long as you ain’t hurting nobody!

Growth is painful, but the fruit is sweet.