3 Ways I Evaluate My Friendships & Relationships

Everyone finds themselves in one-sided relationships or friendships from time to time. You know those people that you feel like you’re going the extra mile for and can’t get them to move an inch? And sometimes, we second guess what we think if it’s someone we love and care about. However, we must evaluate the relationships around us and make sure that we aren’t always overextending ourselves. As they say, you can’t pour from an empty cup. And an empty cup you shall have if you allow energy vampires into your space. Here are three ways that I evaluate my friendships and relationships:

3. When this person has a triumph or a failure, are you one of the people they call or text? Like, you know when you see someone you thought you were cool with post something great, and you had no idea it even happened? We all know that we have our circle of people most important to us, and if something great happens, they are getting a call or text. If this never happens with this person, it’s probably safe to say you and that person are not that close. When they are super happy about something, you don’t cross their mind in those moments. Or when they are super sad, they don’t feel comfortable sharing it with you or even leaning on you for comfort. This doesn’t mean you can’t still be friends, but it lets you know you are outside their circle.

2. Does this person remember small details about you? If they can’t remember things that you speak about all the time, they aren’t all that invested. Suppose you talk about your favorite sports team or food or musical artist regularly, and this person never remembers any of it. In that case, they either aren’t listening or don’t care to remember things about you. I can tell you all my close friends’ favorite things because I listen, and I care. And even if I don’t know the exact thing, I can probably get in the ballpark because I know them well enough to do that. A person that cares about you cares about the things that are important to you.

1. The biggest one is what this person does when a sacrifice needs to be made. Everyone is down for you until it’s time to give up something or do something they don’t want to do. A person that really cares for you will do this without a second thought if it is necessary. A person that is not invested in you will never make themselves uncomfortable for your comfort. They may even ask that of you, but you can rest assured, they will never do that for you. And when I say sacrifice, it doesn’t have to be a huge thing like giving you a lump sum of money in a crunch. It could simply be them refusing to give you a ride to work one day, just because it would make them have to leave 10 minutes earlier. Or a friend that expects you to be at all their events but never comes to yours. If someone truly cares for you, a little extra effort will never be too much to ask.

Now, there are exceptions to every rule in life, but these three things are pretty telling. And if you stop and think about the people you are closest to, none of these things are probably a consistent issue. Most of this comes naturally to us when we love and care for someone. It is essential to learn the difference between a friend and an acquaintance. It saves you the trouble of always expecting more but receiving less. Just some food for thought!

Happy Monday!🙂❤